smart spending

The cost of being a vampire

You fancy, huh
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You fancy, huh

Having lived through many generations and therefore many fads, vampires tend to dress to the nines. They must have some sort of undead credit rating to pay for all of it, too.

As the Cullen family proves, vampires are partial to retro style attire and high-quality brand names such as Louis Vuitton and Chanel. Throwing on a few things from the closet to head to the drugstore could represent a $2,000 outfit for a vampire, but there's a fine line between "classy undead" and "ghoulish" that costs handsomely to maintain. A couple of vampire staples such as a silk ascot and cape can easily reach $250 for only one set.

Occasionally, vampires must venture out into the dawn hours after some late-night dining, which requires another investment. A high-end bottle of SPF 90 sunblock will cost nearly $70 for just 3 ounces ordered online, but it beats the alternative of being burned to death.

To be even more sure this won't happen, many vampires have taken to wearing solar face shields around town when the sun is nearly up to protect their pale complexions. For about $27.99, it provides 50 UPF of sun protection through a tinted 7-inch shield. It may look questionable on the living, but it adds an element of aloofness and mystery that's been sorely needed in vampire attire and at a relative bargain.


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