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The cost of being a vampire

When's dinner?
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When's dinner?

Obviously, the vampires of today are barely recognizable from the vampires of legend. The characters of "Twilight" and HBO's "True Blood" are more likely to grace the covers of Esquire than to haunt your dreams.

Vampires of the 21st century recognized the public relations nightmare that their terror-inducing forbearers would wreak on their suburban lives and box office returns, leading them to replace their normal diet with a more family-friendly approach. One prevailing alternative is to stock the fridge with Tru Blood, a drink concocted to simulate the vampire equivalent of milk. It might do a vampire body good, but if it isn't weird enough for one to have to go to Amazon.com to buy some, the $96 for a 24-pack might scare them away.

If vampires don't want to invest in premium cable in order to live, they can go the "Twilight" route and substitute hunting animals in place of humans. This makes sense but is not without a cost either. Big-game hunting licenses can set a vampire back several hundred dollars per season, and that's not including a $70 orange hunting visibility vest. It'd be awfully embarrassing to live several centuries only to be mistaken by your vampire buddy for an elk.


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