smart spending

The cost of being a vampire

Sleep is for the living
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Sleep is for the living

Vampires are awfully cavalier about their sleeping arrangements. It seems that in most accounts, they are quickly exasperated when they have to explain yet again to a mortal person that -- if they do sleep at all -- they must sleep during the daylight hours. Nowadays, thankfully, there are blackout curtains to help with that.

For the "vein" vampire, there are a couple of premier options to ensure an elegant, undisturbed sleep. Though blackout curtains are pricier in general, the undead will likely splurge on a full silk version, which can cost around $2,000 to outfit an entire room of windows. Made to prevent light through every seam, you won't be able to tell if you're 6 feet under or snoozing comfortably upstairs in a creepy, abandoned Victorian home in the suburbs.

Old-school vampires understandably insist on sleeping in the confines of a coffin, which would regularly cost about $2,000. For vampires who dwell in the south, outfitting their coffin with air-conditioning for the summer months will total $7,200. And if they wanted to go all out in typical vampire fashion, they can sleep in the same coffin design that James Brown and Michael Jackson used. At $25,000, the velvet interior will ensure complete comfort while the gold-plated exterior ensures your coffers are as deep as your sleep.

Plus, if coffins are anything like beds, you'll be replacing those babies every 10 years for maximum comfort -- and that can really add up.


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