Dr. Phil draped his arm over Hank's shoulder. "What's troubling you, big guy?" he asked, giving Hank's bare pate a knuckle rub. Paulson blinked back tears. "The economy. It's …(sniff) … broken," he said. Dr. Phil gave him a man-hug.
"Let's help the White Rabbit out here," Queen Oprah proclaimed to her subjects. "Surely, someone is to blame for this unfortunate situation. Who shall it be?"
Some villagers pointed righteous fingers at the subprime mortgage lenders. Others cast aspersions at the reckless hedge fund managers. Greedy, irresponsible moneychangers, there's the real rub, cried one. Former kings and their courts, cried another.
But when, with the innocence of youth, I dared suggest that perhaps we all share a measure of responsibility for turning a blind eye to widespread opportunism and deceitful practices, Oprah screamed, "Off with her head!" and the crowd quickly descended upon me.
I awoke to the drone of "Anderson Cooper 360" and snapped off the remote.
Note to self: No more CNN before bedtime.
Veteran Bankrate contributing editor Jay MacDonald lives in Austin, Texas. If you have a comment or suggestion about this column, write to Bank Shots.