smart spending

Could you be an online-dating gold digger?

Love key
Highlights
  • Your own online dating profile can say a lot about who you want to date.
  • When it comes to writing a dating profile, think marketing, not therapy.
  • Use action-oriented phrases to help people relate to your profile.

Technology has come so far, yet daters in the digital age must make a good first impression with the old-fashioned written word -- at least in online dating.

The art of crafting a great online dating profile is not just about sharing your awesomeness with the world; after all, that's what the rest of the Internet is for. The dating profile is about attracting the one perfect Mr. or Ms. Right and weeding out inferior prospects.

Certain dating criteria are sensitive. For instance, a strong disinclination toward dating people of certain shapes, sizes or colors should be kept under wraps, even though no one would argue that physical attraction is one of the central themes in dating.

Custom dictates that screening for attributes such as looks, weight and height be done obliquely.

If you are looking for someone who resembles a model, you should not come out and list the physical attributes you're looking for, because it makes you seem shallow.

Similarly, if your standards come with an income requisite, the unspoken rule is to keep that to yourself. Love may not be blind in the days of television shows such as "Bridalplasty," but it should be at least wallet-blind, our egalitarian, classless society insists.

Some dating experts even recommend that women avoid asking a man what he does for a living, lest she begin to smell like eau de gold digger.

But are dollar signs such a bad thing? Not necessarily. After all, some say, it's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man or woman as it is a poor one.

Focus on the profile

Most successful, career-minded people want an ambitious partner who isn't struggling financially, says Leslie Oren, owner of Babygrande PR near Los Angeles and author of "Fine, I'll go online!: The Hollywood Publicist's Guide to Successful Internet Dating."

How do you do that without a line that says, "Six figures or less need not apply?"

It's all in the profile.

"As a successful woman, if you are looking to try to find someone who is as successful as you, if not more so, figuring out a way to be honest about who you are is the most important thing," says Oren.

Crafting the perfect profile is very similar to employing smart marketing or public relations tactics. Daters need to market themselves in the most flattering, yet honest, light possible.

To build a profile that reflects who you are and what you want, carefully craft your interests and speak eruditely about your life, "being very specific in your endeavors and description of yourself," says Oren.

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Like attracts like

In the same way a very fit person would talk about their interests and activities in order to attract someone similar, being upfront about your success and endeavors paints a portrait of the kind of person you are and the person you're looking for.

If you're high-maintenance, use subtle verbiage to convey that message.

"In that process you can get in there all kinds of personality traits and nuances that will communicate to a prospective date whether they feel you're someone they can take on financially," Oren says.

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