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Negotiating a divorce settlement

Envy
Envy © Sergey Mironov/Shutterstock.com

Many people talk about what happened in their friends' divorces and think they should mirror their own divorce proceedings. This often creates envy of the other person's circumstances.

Envying the position of another or assuming your financial circumstance is identical is a deadly sin. The way divorcing parties think is, "Sally got a million dollars. I should get a million dollars, too," says Reckers. Comparing your situation with another is a deadly sin because it leads to incorrect assumptions and irrational expectations. Envy of another's divorce settlement can lead individuals to turn down high-quality settlement proposals based only on comparing them with erroneous data points.

"Envy can often be described as a desire to deprive the other spouse of leaving with any assets at all," says Heider. "It's deprivation to the extreme. One spouse has the desire to deprive the other spouse of assets, happiness and financial security. They can drain them emotionally and financially through legal costs."

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