Don't rush financial decisions when spouse dies
By Laura Bruce • Bankrate.com

Grief and finances don't mix. Trying to regroup after a spouse passes away and handling the numerous financial issues that arise can be a daunting task under the best conditions. The optimal situation exists when the surviving spouse is knowledgeable about the family's finances and knows how to manage investments and expenses.

But too often one spouse has managed the finances and the other is not prepared if there's a death and they're the survivor, says Certified Financial Planner Mark Colgan, president of Colgan Capital in Pittsford, N.Y.

"It's not so much male and female, it's that one spouse takes ownership of that responsibility and the other delegates it. It's probably true that it's more often the male and, unfortunately, money is one of those things that typically don't interest both parties. So if the person in control dies then the other person is kind of lost."

Edward Gjertsen, vice president of Mack Investment Securities in Glenview, Ill., says this is something he's witnessed many times. "It's generational. I have my Bob Hope-generation clients and the women are very often out of the loop. This is a huge generalization, but many women who are in their 70s and 80s weren't involved in the finances. When you get to the 50s and 60s you have more working women and they're more aware of finances."

Empowering widows
Gjertsen invited 20 of his widowed clients to get together to discuss issues. It wasn't meant to be a "woe is me" session, or a time to make decisions; it was about empowerment.

"When a woman loses her spouse, people think she loses half her IQ," says Gjertsen. "Just because you haven't focused in an area doesn't mean you can't learn it. It doesn't mean that you can't become familiar with it enough to ask questions. That's what we're trying to empower widows with -- the power to ask questions."

Gjertsen, who has assembled a list of tips in "A Widow's Guide," noticed that many times a surviving spouse rushes into making financial decisions, almost as though it brings closure. He stresses the importance of slowing down, grieving first, and then getting organized and tackling the financial issues.

Who are the surviving spouses?

• 43 percent of all women over age 65 in 2005 were widows. There were four times as many widows (8.6 million) as widowers (2.1 million). • 38.4 percent of women over age 65 in 2005 lived alone versus 19.2 percent of men in that age group. • The median income of people over age 65 in 2005 was $21,784 for males and $12,495 for females. • 12.3 percent of women over age 65 in 2005 lived in poverty versus 7.3 percent of men. • There were 36.8 million people over the age of 65 in 2005; an increase of 3.2 million or 9.4 percent since 1995.