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8 outlandish tax deductions to skip in 2014

Secretary or accountant stressed at paperwork © ndphoto/

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Did you hear the one about the guy who tried to write off his toupee? His unborn children? Theft by Superstorm Sandy? Or the embezzler who didn’t quite get the memo?

Duck and cover, fellow taxpayers: It’s time once again for Bankrate’s ninth installment of the year’s craziest real-life tax deductions, harvested from the numerically numbed cerebral cortexes of some of the best — and best humored — certified public accountants in the land.

Previous wooly write-offs to board the crazy tax express included a spatula-buying trip to Brazil, a tricked-out Amish buggy, ostrich breeding, breast augmentation, a meditation yurt, numerous evening escorts and enough bogus guard dogs to take over Manhattan. In fact, there was even that guy who mistakenly tried to claim all of New York City as his dependent!

Tempting, right? Which is precisely why we always include this disclaimer: Do not try this at home. Serious consequences may result from underreporting, filing a false or erroneous claim, or otherwise attempting to make up your own personal tax rules.

All aboard? Here come this year’s eight outlandish tax deductions.