"Very often, a precursor to divorce is one of the spouses will tell all of the economic stresses and woes so you will get into the mindset of, 'We have no money, business is terrible.' Then, your expectations are low. That's all premeditated," Vasileff says.
On the flip side, sudden out-of-character generosity also could signal mischief.
"The spouse wines and dines the person, takes them on an extravagant vacation or tells them to go on an extravagant vacation by themselves, tells them everything is wonderful, when it's just the opposite," Vasileff says.
Gail Cunningham, spokeswoman at the National Foundation for Credit Counseling, a nonprofit credit counseling organization in Washington, D.C., says it's important to keep your eyes open and not be willfully blind.
"Do they never look around the house? Never notice their lifestyle?" she says. "A person may choose to look the other way because he or she is enjoying the benefits of the spending, but I refuse to believe (that person is) totally blind to it."
Gambling might seem harmless and day-trading stocks might seem smart, but done to excess, these activities can be addictive and trigger financial treachery to support the habit. If your partner has a financial addiction, watch out for financial infidelity, as well.
"When people have financial addictions like gambling, spending, trading stocks or lending money to family and friends to feel like a good person, those are often part of the infidelity where there's no consensus, no communication and no permission in advance. They are acting unilaterally and don't disclose it," Vasileff says.
Disclosure after the fact doesn't count and can be manipulative, Vasileff says.
Couples in healthy relationships have open, honest discussions about income and debt.
If you want to talk about a money-related subject and your partner isn't responsive, that could be a warning sign, says NEFE spokesman Paul Golden.
"If you bring up a conversation point about money with your significant other and he or she isn't engaged or the person is withdrawn or defensive, those (behaviors) are big red flags," he says.
Most people have some financial baggage and many are uncomfortable talking openly about their finances.
Discomfort isn't necessarily a sign of financial infidelity, but it should prompt further discussion.
"If a person is reluctant, you need to know why," Cunningham says.
Gresham, the Atlanta psychologist, also points to unexplained dispiritedness as a possible sign of financial distress or misdeeds. Too often, these signs are understood only too late.
"You see it after the fact, and now you know why your partner was anxious or depressed or seemed withdrawn or secretive." she says.
The next steps to take
If you suspect your spouse or partner hasn't been honest with you about his or her income, assets or debts, or if you simply want to improve your financial communication, try to set up a time to have that discussion, Cunningham says.
"You need to be willing to be financially naked with the other person," Cunningham says. "Set a date -- 'Saturday morning I will meet you at the proverbial kitchen table and let's have a financial checkup.'"
Be ready to share your credit report, credit score, tax returns, and statements for bank, investment and retirement accounts. Ask your partner to bring all that information, too.
Getting financially naked "doesn't have to result in a terrible meltdown of the family," Cunningham says.
If you or your partner has been less than truthful, a call to a financial or marital counseling service might be a smart last step.