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Dear Steve,
Sadly, I think I know the answer to this question. My girlfriend and I are splitting. Our home, though purchased when
we were together, is in her name only. I did build a large garage there four years ago and she did say I could keep my
things in there for a while, but won't agree to a lease. Is there any recourse for me at this point?
-- Bill
Dear Bill,
Table that defeatist attitude for just a minute, Bill. You likely do have a legal stake in the property. Many folks in
your shoes make the mistake of allowing their guilt over a failed relationship or their desire to just make a clean break
keep them from claiming their rightful share of a home investment.
Of course, you may have to trudge into court for your just due, because it sounds as if you have nothing
in writing determining who emerges with what post-split. Unlike married couples, cohabitants have no automatic property
or asset rights, though a handful of states do consider set periods of cohabitation to be common-law marriage, and treat
dissolutions much as they would divorces.
I don't know the circumstances of your breakup, but it sounds a little like you're being bullied. If you
contributed to the down payment, house payments and built and financed that garage, you certainly have a vested interest,
regardless of how emotionally or financially "in the right" your former partner feels she is. Surely you have expense
records, canceled checks or a building permit that illustrate your investment there.
If the dollars you invested are significant in your eyes, you could meet with an attorney to consider your
rights, then matter-of-factly inform the soon-to-be "ex" of your position while assuring her you'd much rather settle out
of court. If she has the resources for this or will consider refinancing the house to gain them, she may want to go this
route rather than to court, where she might be forced to sell the place just to pay you.
However, if the dollars you sunk into the place aren't significant, you might fare better by just walking
away from the house (yes, and your beloved garage) with no future financial obligation, which in some markets might serve
your fiscal health better in the long run these days, especially if you have minimal equity at stake.
Of course, some of this discomfort could have been avoided. Many states and (or) cities now honor formal
"domestic partner agreements," which are basically prenuptial agreements for live-ins, which spell out partner rights. If
they don't, then joint-tenancy or tenant-in-common agreements, which also define the percentage each partner owns and other
fiscal responsibilities, usually are legally binding. The problem with these types of things is that many optimistic couples
consider them to be about as romantic as hazardous waste.
But for the more pragmatic would-be cohabitants out there, you may want to acquire Nolo's do-it-yourself
legal book, "Living Together: A Legal Guide for Unmarried Couples," before taking the plunge. Other relevant book titles
include "Money Without Matrimony: The Unmarried Couple's Guide to Financial Security," by Sheryl Garrett and Debra Neiman, and "Shacking Up:
The Smart Girl's Guide to Living in Sin Without Getting Burned," by Stacy Whitman and Wynne Whitman.
You'd better act soon, Bill. That garage could get pretty drafty come winter.
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