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Beating a bullying boss -- Page 2

2. Name the problem.
You've got a problem and it's not your fault or doing. Your boss is a bully. Face up to the fact that although you had no part in becoming their target, it is up to you to end this destructive mambo.

"Naming it legitimizes it," says Namie. "You know if you name it that it's not you."

3. Take some time off.
If the abuse has been ongoing, a doctor may even order this for your own good. If not, take vacation time.

"When you're flooded with emotion, when you're full of anger and outrage and you're hurt, all you want to do is convince people you're wounded," Namie says. "You're not going to get any help if you come at them with emotion."

Use the time to see a mental health counselor, check your physical health, check your legal options (a quarter of bullying cases have some discrimination components that may strengthen your case) and gather your thoughts.

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4. Start a journal.
Without documentation, employees tend to get nowhere when challenging superiors. Chart the five Ws: who, what, when, where and witnesses.

"If you don't, it's your word against theirs and any decision-maker will not be able to take action," says Horn. "Often the decision-makers don't like whistleblowers and are often intimidated themselves by this individual and are not eager to deal with them.

"The good thing is, if you report with documentation, most organizations are mandated to follow up because if they do not, they are liable. It's one of your only sources of power."

5. Expose the bully.
When your case is solid, expose the bully. You don't want to do this directly, says Namie, but at least two levels up the organization; that is, the bully boss's boss.

"This is where you make the unemotional business case that the bully is too expensive to keep," he says. "Our success stories are coming from these multilayer corporate structures where there is somebody high enough above that did not bring the person on board and does not owe them any personal loyalty."

Warning: Do not confront the bully.

"That's what everybody tells you; it's a clash of personalities, work it out between yourselves," says Namie. This rarely works.

Even more frustrating is that there's no law against workplace bullying -- yet. Namie's organization has launched a grassroots effort to enact anti-bullying statutes in states and provinces across North America. So far, Quebec is the only jurisdiction to adopt psychological harassment legislation.

And where the bully boss is the top banana, you may have little choice but to move on. The loss rate on court cases for intentional infliction of emotional distress is 95 percent, Namie says.

In these cases, the employee has to decide, all other things considered, whether the job really is worth keeping. If the answer is "no," it's time to acquaint yourself with a headhunter.

The "Survivor" factor
The courts and the corporate boardroom also have been slow to recognize that bully behavior batters the bottom line. The bureau director of a federal agency recently called on Namie to ferret out a bully boss, but when he isolated him, the director refused to remove him because "he's a great conversationalist and a lunch buddy."

Do you wonder if we will see an end to bully bosses anytime soon? Horn says the answer may be staring us in the face every day.

"When you watch TV, you see kids bad-mouthing their parents. You see shows like 'Survivor' and the reality shows where the more aggressive and manipulative and conniving you are, the more you are rewarded. We are growing up in a culture where 'dissing' each other is the norm.

"Even laugh tracks. Remember 'The Weakest Link?' The host would ridicule the contestants and everyone was laughing en masse at this individual and they were just supposed to buck up and take it. Boy, are our values getting confused when this is held up as an example!"

Jay MacDonald is a contributing editor based in Mississippi.
Illustrations by Brandy Kesl

-- Posted: Aug. 17, 2004
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