Angling to marry for money? |
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The largest number of whoppers (572,000) resides in California, however, followed by New York, Florida, Illinois and Texas.
Now that we know where the big fish run, how do we recognize a prize
catch from a "throwback"?
Thomas J. Stanley, co-author of "The Millionaire
Next Door," interviewed more than 700 millionaires for his
follow-up best-seller, "The
Millionaire Mind."
He found several distinguishing characteristics about
millionaires.
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Distinguishing characteristics of millionaires: |
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Most tend to be frugal: They make up shopping lists and resole their shoes, for example. That said, they're not misers; instead, they tend to be balanced spenders and savers who carry virtually no debt. |
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Most live in nice
homes in older neighborhoods (hence "The Millionaire Next
Door") rather than expansive estates. Only one in four
has ever built his or her "dream home." |
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Half of millionaire wives do not work outside the home. |
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The No. 1 millionaire leisure activity is socializing with family (93 percent). |
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Millionaire couples have one-third the
divorce rate of nonmillionaire couples. The typical millionaire
has been married 28 years and has three children. |
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What, you say? Where's my "Dallas"-sized mansion
with hot- and cold-running servants? Bad news, amiga: Even the IRS
calculates that men in the $1 million to $10 million range spend
just 10 percent of their net worth on their residence, versus submillionaires
who spend on average nearly 21 percent. And it gets stingier at
the top: Those with more than $10 million only spend 3 percent on
their abode.
The 'arm candy' conundrum
Carl Shubs, a psychologist in private practice in the heart of 90210
itself, Beverly
Hills, has counseled more than a few Cinderellas over the years
when their happily ever-after fantasies have fallen onto the hard
rocks of reality. He breaks down the marrying-for-money gambit into
five main issues.
| When you marry for money, you don't necessarily experience less discord. But potential conflicts are somewhat different than normal. |
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Issue 1: Fantasy vs. reality
Rich or poor, we all have unrealistic expectations at the altar
about what married life will be like, says Shubs. The person who
marries for money, for example, may believe that his or her money
problems will suddenly be over for good.
"Often there are still money battles; it's just
the dollar amount that changes," he says. "It may not
be fights about whether we can pay the rent, it may be: Will we
have enough money to sustain our third or sixth house?"
Issue 2: Self-image
Those who marry for wealth may base their self-esteem on external
factors -- the car they drive, the clothes they wear, the ZIP code
they live in -- rather than on an internal sense of what is valuable
and important. Friction enters when the basis of a couple's self-image
differs.
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