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Angling to marry for money?

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The largest number of whoppers (572,000) resides in California, however, followed by New York, Florida, Illinois and Texas.

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Now that we know where the big fish run, how do we recognize a prize catch from a "throwback"?

Thomas J. Stanley, co-author of "The Millionaire Next Door," interviewed more than 700 millionaires for his follow-up best-seller, "The Millionaire Mind."

He found several distinguishing characteristics about millionaires.


Distinguishing characteristics of millionaires:
Most tend to be frugal: They make up shopping lists and resole their shoes, for example. That said, they're not misers; instead, they tend to be balanced spenders and savers who carry virtually no debt.
Most live in nice homes in older neighborhoods (hence "The Millionaire Next Door") rather than expansive estates. Only one in four has ever built his or her "dream home."
Half of millionaire wives do not work outside the home.
The No. 1 millionaire leisure activity is socializing with family (93 percent).
Millionaire couples have one-third the divorce rate of nonmillionaire couples. The typical millionaire has been married 28 years and has three children.

What, you say? Where's my "Dallas"-sized mansion with hot- and cold-running servants? Bad news, amiga: Even the IRS calculates that men in the $1 million to $10 million range spend just 10 percent of their net worth on their residence, versus submillionaires who spend on average nearly 21 percent. And it gets stingier at the top: Those with more than $10 million only spend 3 percent on their abode.

The 'arm candy' conundrum
Carl Shubs, a psychologist in private practice in the heart of 90210 itself, Beverly Hills, has counseled more than a few Cinderellas over the years when their happily ever-after fantasies have fallen onto the hard rocks of reality. He breaks down the marrying-for-money gambit into five main issues.

The rich are different
When you marry for money, you don't necessarily experience less discord. But potential conflicts are somewhat different than normal.
 
Marrying for money
1. Fantasy vs. reality
2. Self-image
3. "Arm candy" of the rich and famous
4. Trust
5. Entitlement

Issue 1: Fantasy vs. reality
Rich or poor, we all have unrealistic expectations at the altar about what married life will be like, says Shubs. The person who marries for money, for example, may believe that his or her money problems will suddenly be over for good.

"Often there are still money battles; it's just the dollar amount that changes," he says. "It may not be fights about whether we can pay the rent, it may be: Will we have enough money to sustain our third or sixth house?"

Issue 2: Self-image
Those who marry for wealth may base their self-esteem on external factors -- the car they drive, the clothes they wear, the ZIP code they live in -- rather than on an internal sense of what is valuable and important. Friction enters when the basis of a couple's self-image differs.

 
 
Next: "What happens as they get older?"
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