Tipping during the holidays
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"Put the tip inside of a greeting card, don't just
hand it over one hand over another as raw bills, that's crass,"
says Baldrige. "Have it hidden inside a holiday greeting card. Make
it even more special by writing something on the card; don't just
get one of those printed, awful cards that say 'holiday greetings'
with a picture on the outside with a vast, snowy yard or something.
Put something personal, say 'Thank you for taking such good care
of us this year. I wish you and your family all the best for the
coming year.' The handwritten note that says 'Thank you,' that's
what matters to the person who receives it," she says.
Find out ahead of time what the general custom is
for holiday tipping in the establishment. Most times a discreet
query to the manager will yield some clues as to how to go about
expressing your thanks.
"Ask what the usual practice is. Ask quietly out of
earshot of other people. It takes a lot of pressure off," says Baldrige.
Don't think being poor is an excuse to avoid the yearly
exercise in gracious manners.
"If you're having a bad year, and I've had plenty
of those, you give them a greeting card and a small amount of money
and you say: This has been a tough year for us, please forgive us
next year we'll be better. It's better to own up. You still want
to give a little something and certainly write down your appreciation
for their loyalty during the past year," Baldrige says.
The handwritten note does matter, especially when
it conveys a sense of genuine appreciation and thanks.
"If someone is of very limited means, that someone
can send a small amount of money with a card saying ... 'The service
you have provided is much more valuable than this token of acknowledgement,
but I hope that you will accept it knowing that I am extremely grateful
for what you have done for me,'" says Forni.
Abstaining
Sometimes people don't tip at all during the holidays. They feel
that one doesn't need to be paid extra for a job for which they're
already collecting money -- a sentiment that may have spawned from
overzealous workers who expect -- and actively solicit -- tips.
On the other end is the expectation of holiday tips.
The fact of the matter is that doormen, dog walkers and trash collectors
aren't generally pulling down a CEO's salary, and anticipation of
the extra income is built into their yearly earnings prospects.
There is a fine line behind the spirit of giving during the holiday
season and the reality.
"It becomes
really a sort of coercion that enters the picture; it's almost a ransom that you
have to pay. Many people will yield because they don't want to disappoint the
people that expect that tipping is part of their salary, but they should be aware
of the fact that they are being bullied. It's a subtle or not so subtle form of
bullyism," says Forni.
But, in a somewhat secular
and detached society, there's nothing wrong with being a little magnanimous once
a year.
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How about you? |
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