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Ah, the holidays. The time of year when smiles are
brighter, laughter is cheerier and money is spent with a frivolity
that powers the economy for the rest of the year.
Traditionally, the largesse of the season benefits
everyone neglected throughout the year: Charities take in more donations,
Santa gets his cookies and forgotten family members receive strangely
shaped baubles and off-brand bath supplies. And, not to forget the
people who toil in thankless anonymity to make everyone else's lives
run a little bit more efficiently, this is traditionally their time
of year to be thanked for their efforts in the form of tips.
Like saying "please" and "thank you," tipping at the holidays
is a gracious way of showing appreciation and respect to the people
who provide services all year.
"Giving is part of the spirit of the season, the sharing
of the cheer. You tip during the holidays because during a festive
time you want to acknowledge those with whom you have a debt of
gratitude or you wish to follow a holiday tradition," says P.M.
Forni, professor and co-founder of the Johns Hopkins Civility Project
and author of "Choosing
Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct."
Who
to tip and how much
According to Forni, there are three rules to
consider when deciding who to tip.
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Who to tip and how much: | |
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When a service provider meets one of the criterion,
a tip is appropriate. If he or she meets two or more of the criteria,
tip a little bit extra.
Determining the amount to tip is left entirely to
the discretion of the tipper. "I don't think there should be a standard
percentage," says Forni. The tips should be based on the service
and its worth to you, not on an arbitrary rule dictating that dog
walkers should get 10 percent of their weekly salary or that the
pool guy must get a holiday tip of 3 percent of his annual bill.
Most etiquette experts seem to agree that for holiday
tipping, the rules aren't set in stone. Generally, the more you
see someone and the more he or she does for you, the more you would
tip. For instance, "if you have a paper deliverer that comes seven
days a week, you would give a certain amount; if he comes only on
Sundays you would give him much less," says Leticia Baldrige, former
chief of staff for Jacqueline Kennedy and an author on manners.
"Every
year it's a bugaboo. The main thing about it is that it's different for every
person in every case. You can't say how much someone should give their concierge
or landlord or superintendent, because it depends on the size of the building
or how much he does," she says. If your relationship is
more personal, such as with a hairdresser or a child care provider, it's definitely
appropriate to supplement a tip with a small gift. "If you have a tremendous
relationship with your hairdresser you would give that person a financial gift
but also a personal gift," says Baldrige. "If you have a manicurist
who does your nails every week, you could give that person $20 but you also give
them a scarf or a pair of sparkly earrings if you know that she likes that kind
of thing." Tip with grace and style
The newbie mistake with gratuities is to awkwardly jam some cash
at someone and mumble "thanks" and "Merry Christmas,"
"Kwanzaa," "Hanukkah," "holidays,"
"winter solstice" or whatever appellation you think the
occasion merits. But, it doesn't have to be an awkward or stressful
situation.
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