Did you hear about the human sperm deduction? The cop who wrote off his flattop haircut? The interstate cheeseburger incident?

Behold Bankrate's sixth installment of the year's craziest, laughably outrageous, utterly true tax deduction tales, culled from the seasonally imbalanced minds of certified (if not certifiable) public accountants from across the land, some of whom requested anonymity.

Our past forays into tax return weirdness turned up some very naughty behavior indeed as desperate taxpayers sought to slip past the taxman everything from breast implants to barking security systems and an expensive "time monitoring system" made by Rolex.

As always, we preface this ride on the crazy tax train with this warning: Do not try this at home. The IRS, while jolly sorts themselves, don't take lightly any attempts to shirk your tax obligations.

In the spirit of what not to claim, we present Bankrate's 10 craziest tax deductions, 2011 edition.