No-theft car theft is a crime

Dear Terry,
I co-signed for my son's new car loan. If he takes the car and runs away from some personal legal problems, can I report it as car theft and not be held responsible for payments? If he steals my personal car, will I be covered by my insurance? He will definitely need a car to flee.
-- John

Dear John,
I don't know whether to take this question seriously, but I'll try. There are a whole bunch of potential felonies here, from insurance fraud to filing a false police report. If your son takes off in a car with your knowledge and help, it's not car theft and you'll be responsible for any payments. Tell your son to stay and take care of his problems. Running never helps.

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