Let's abolish the word busy. When you ask someone,
"How have you been?" and they say, "Busy," it
doesn't mean anything. I'm sick of it. We all have the same 24 hours
to fill. Everyone's are filled with something.
The difference is that the "busy" people feel frenetic
during those hours. Those of you who walk around telling everyone
how busy you are, get a grip. Make some tough choices and calm down.
There's a big difference between a busy day and a full day. The
former is so frantic that you aren't effective.
Don't tell me you can't help it. You can. Here are the steps to
1. Recognize that a frenetic life is a life half lived.
You should aim for "Flow," a concept from psychologist
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Flow is a unique state of mind where productivity
and creativity are at their highest. Csikszentmihalyi shows in his
wide-ranging study that Flow generates the grand ideas, phenomenal
work and intense, rewarding experiences that people identify with
Flow happens when you are fully present and engaged in what you
are doing; the concept of time melts away in a commitment to the
goal-oriented activity. This feeling requires being occupied and
engaged for uninterrupted chunks of your day without ever once thinking
that you're rushed for time. People who are busy do not get this
2. Recognize that you are addicted to busy.
You like what busy does for you. Busy gives you an excuse for poor
performance. Busy gives you a way to ignore parts of your life that
are falling apart and need attention. And when what you do makes
you feel inadequate -- for example, if you're a volunteer, taking
care of a parent, meditating or doing other things that are not
valued by society -- busy gives you something to say that society
Many people mistakenly feel that busy means important. But busy
really means out of control. A full day means planned and prioritized.
A busy day means frenetic and unorganized. Full is fine. It is expected.
But important people have full days, not busy days, because important
people can't afford to be out of control.
This does not mean making a to-do list. Nor does it mean making
a list of career goals. You need to list what you want in life.
It should be a short list, because life is short. Don't make a list
of dreams; you need to give up your dreams. Not all, but most.
This is because being an adult means making choices. It means
admitting that we cannot do everything and choosing to devote the
time we have to what's most important. By not making choices, you
aren't facing the realities of adulthood. By scheduling your days
with more things than you can accomplish, you are not taking control
of your life. You're letting chance take control. Chance will dictate
what gets done because you refuse to prioritize.
4. Say no.
Whenever someone asks you to do something, be ready to say no. Your
priorities at work, home and during your personal and networking
time should be clear.
Do not worry that you'll hurt someone's feelings by saying no.
To do something well, you must be focused. That takes self-discipline.
But when you say yes to please someone, it shows you lack the self-discipline
to be truly focused. Saying no is a gift to the people and projects
that are the priorities in your life.
You do not automatically have to say yes to everything you're
asked to do at work either. Your boss establishes your priorities.
If she then gives you work that would compromise those priorities,
you can refuse (with an explanation). Sticking to the plan will
make you look smart and committed.
5. Change how you talk.
Don't ever say again that you're busy. Say you can't bear to
give up your dreams, or say being busy veils your fear of underperformance.
You need to say something more honest than busy if you want to connect
with people, including yourself.
When you have done the first four steps, you will no longer be
busy. You will have room to be focused and enthralled. Then, when
someone says, "How have you been?" you will have something
more interesting and engaging to say than "Busy."