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Are you untying the knot that binds you and your spouse?
The process is often difficult, especially if you don't do your
homework.
Facing the decision to file for divorce can be unsettling
and may bring unresolved issues to light. Ultimately, determining
how easy or difficult the process will be depends on you. The more
you properly prepare yourself emotionally and financially, the smoother
the sailing will be.
Once you've made your decision, how you go about your
divorce is subject to its complexity, what is at stake and the state
in which you live. For instance, the divorce of a couple that has
been married for one year with no sizable assets or children will
be different from for a couple with two children and a 25-year marriage.
Still, however distinct your circumstances may be, there are some
common sense recommendations that apply to most situations.
Here are some straightforward financial and emotional
do's and don'ts that experts recommend will help you stay on course
to a smoother divorce:
DO consult with a lawyer.
It's a good idea, especially if you have children or assets. Experts
say when looking for an attorney, you should ask people you trust
for recommendations, and don't cut corners when it comes to good,
solid legal help. If you intend to hire a lawyer, start putting
aside money for your legal costs, so you can pay the upfront retainer
fee often required. The lawyer's hourly rate is billed against the
retainer. "To try to navigate without a lawyer would be like trying
to do your own open heart surgery," says John Finnerty, a certified
matrimonial attorney and chairman of Finnerty & Sherwood in
Fair Lawn, N.J.
DO make copies. Photocopy every important,
relevant document from the last three years of your marriage. This
includes tax returns, mortgage payments, bank statements, pay stubs,
stock certificates and bonds – to supply your lawyer or mediator.
DO steer clear of damaging credit problems.
Cancel joint credit cards. Experts say if your credit card accounts
are in both you and your spouse's names, and they remain open, you
are still responsible for any charges made by your spouse. If charges
go unpaid, they can end up on your credit report. Get credit
cards and accounts in your own name to build your own credit.
DO make sure you're covered.
Medical insurance coverage can end in divorce. If you are
on your husband's insurance plan, you should be able to continue
coverage for up to 36 months under the Consolidated Omnibus Reconciliation
Act (COBRA). Under this plan you pay the premiums, which may be
expensive.
DO take a home and asset inventory.
This will better clarify what exactly needs to be divided. Susan
Goldstein, family law attorney and co-author with Valerie Colb of
"The Smart Divorce: A Practical Guide to the 200 Things You Must
Know," advises you to write down everything you know about your
assets and debts, and record the persons who can be witnesses. It's
good for people to compile lists. You can't bring your lawyer too
much information, Goldstein says.
Also consider taking pictures or videos of your home
and contents and making copies of family photographs you want to
keep. "Family photographs are often a major point of contention,"
she says.
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