Preplanning a funeral
By Amy Brown-Bowers • Bankrate.com
Important social events require a lot of planning -- there's the food, venue, entertainment, décor, transportation, accommodations, invitations and announcements. And don't forget the budget.
Planning for a funeral is no exception except that it often comes with the added challenge of having to pull things together in a matter of days under great emotional stress. With little time to shop around and feelings of grief and shock, it can be hard to make sound decisions.
That's where preplanning comes in. A growing number
of people are prearranging their own memorials and funerals to avoid
burdening their families and loved ones with difficult emotional
and financial decisions at a time that will already be challenging.
So many decisions, so little time
"Unless someone has been close to it, you really don't get just how many decisions need to be made," says Nancy Bush, whose husband, John, died a few years ago. Along with Sue Kruskopf, Bush is co-founder of MyWonderfulLife.com, a free online service to help you plan and personalize your own funeral, eliminating the guesswork for loved ones.
Elly Elder, board member of The Funeral Advisory and Memorial Society of Toronto, says decisions often have to be made very quickly after a death because of the body. "For instance, with nursing homes, they don't have any place to keep the body. They want the body removed as soon as possible. And what if the person dies at home? Then they just can't wait."
Groups like hers exist all over the country with the
goal of encouraging people to plan modest, simple funerals in advance.
The last thing you want to do when someone you love dies is go through the Yellow Pages or run around the city comparing caskets, venues and burial prices, Bush says. "If people have the gift of knowing these plans, whether it's just the minutia of the songs they want to be played, that allows them time to actually grieve and be with their family. And that's what they should be doing rather than running around and making plans for the funeral," Bush says.
| Prepaying options: |
| |
Trust with a provider |
Insurance with a provider |
Independent of providers (e.g., a bank) |
| Brief explanation |
You give the money directly to the funeral home or provider who deposits the money in trust, where it earns interest until it is needed. |
You buy an insurance option from the funeral home or provider. You pay monthly premiums for a guaranteed pay-out. |
You prearrange the funeral and, after calculating the cost, invest the money on your own, e.g., put the money in a GIC with your bank or opt for an insurance policy from another financial institution. |
| Benefits |
No financial loose ends to worry about. |
No financial loose ends to worry about. |
Greater flexibility. You may get better rates of return or pay lower premiums. |
| Cautions |
If you cancel, you will likely pay a penalty. |
Cancellation fees are often higher than for using a trust. |
Make sure everyone knows where the money is so that it can be quickly accessed after a death. |
| Sources: Bankrate.ca and Ontario's Board of Funeral Services |
Big money, bad timing
Given that funerals can easily cost upward of $10,000, it's not advisable to plan one soon after the death of a loved one.
"There are so many people who are unfortunately taken advantage of when it comes to the financial piece of it because it's a very emotional time and they're making emotional decisions rather than rational, thoughtful decisions about what they're spending on things," Bush says.
Elder says it's not that the industry takes advantage of people, but that people tend to be their own worst enemies when it comes to what they spend. "They get into a casket selection room, and they're really not making proper decisions," she explains. "You wouldn't go out and buy a car without looking around to see what car prices are."
It's probably unrealistic to shop around and compare casket prices after a sudden death, but is it possible to explore options in advance. Preplanning can also help you sort out what things matter to you in your funeral versus what things you would prefer not to have. Spelling out your wishes ahead of time to, say, be cremated versus buried could save your family thousands of dollars.
"If you're able to preplan, it takes so much pressure off of the survivors," Bush says. Finally, feelings of guilt or a desire to demonstrate love for someone deceased may lead people to overspend on the funeral.
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