Surviving wedding season -- as a guest
By Amy Brown-Bowers • Bankrate.com

Gifts
The standard amount spent on a wedding or shower gift varies from $50 to $100, which adds up quickly if you attend several events in one summer. Martyn suggests some ingenuous cost-saving gift ideas for guests on a budget.

For example, if you have a special skill such as graphic design, Martyn suggests offering to design the wedding invitations as your gift. If you have multimedia talent, offer to put together a slide show for the reception.

That's the kind of frugal thinking Wyngaarden appreciates. "I am potentially going to make some of the gifts because I do a lot of sewing projects so I might sew up things for their house," she says.

If you stick to the registry, Dos Ramos suggests starting your shopping early. "If you're really on a tight budget, hit that registry early because all the cheaper gifts go quickly," she says.

As well, group gifts are a great way to get more bang for your buck because you don't feel that you have to go all out with a big gift on your own, she says. So, think about asking other friends or family members if they'd like to pitch in on one major gift, such as a barbecue or furniture set.

Showers and bachelorette parties
Etiquette dictates that brides shouldn't pay for their showers or bachelorette parties. "Usually what happens is that the girls pool their money and then they'll do something together ... the bride usually has nothing to do with it," says Dos Ramos. "She's not really responsible for paying any money."

Wyngaarden and the two other bridesmaids set a strict limit for the shower they are planning for this summer -- $150 total. "We've been really good about budgeting that," she says. To save money, they are holding a picnic with homemade finger foods, watermelon and lemonade. The prizes will be inexpensive, and they are making their own invitations.

Destination debt
Martyn says that destination weddings are increasingly popular, but while such celebrations are often cheaper for the brides and grooms, they are substantially more expensive for guests and those in the wedding party.

The greatest bridesmaid expense for Thomas was simply getting to her friend's wedding in the Dominican Republic. Two budget-saving bonuses were the dress -- a light cotton summer dress that "I will definitely wear again," she says -- and the flip flops she wore to the ceremony.

Martyn finds that to accommodate the cost of destination weddings, "a lot of people are sort of lumping it into their vacation budget." As for those who can't afford to go, they "are simply declining," she says.

Set a budget and be prepared to decline
It shouldn't come as a surprise that around a certain age, say between 25 to 35, the wedding invitations will likely pile up. Martyn suggests being proactive about saving for weddings during this time. "Allocate a certain amount of money per month for this like for Christmas gifts," she says.

So far, Wyngaarden's expenses have been spread out over time so she's been able to fit them into her regular monthly budget. "I know that May and September will be tricky months. I'll try to cut in other areas so I don't have to go too much into savings," she says.

"You pretty much know a year in advance, so you can budget for it," Dos Ramos says. If you're a bridesmaid, she recommends sitting down early on with the bride to build a budget. "When you get to that certain age, everybody has a million weddings that come at the same time ... so you have to really sit down and say, 'Hey can I afford to go to this?'"

"The overriding theme: be honest with the bride and groom," Martyn says. "I know people who have six or seven (weddings) per year. Be honest if it's a financial obligation you can't make," she says.

Amy Brown-Bowers is a writer in Toronto.