If you take these talks seriously, your spouse's
behavior won't seem so mysterious and irritating. And maybe you'll
know how to complement each other's strengths and weaknesses. Don't
try to force your partner to undergo a personality transplant because
the result will likely be rejection.
"It's very healthy to admit who you are
when it comes to money," Gurney says. "Too often I see
people coming in who try to give up who they are and it backfires.
You need to know what you can't give up, as well as what you wouldn't
mind giving up."
Preventing future money
OK, so you understand each other's financial psychology and you
have put yourself into your spouse's spending shoes. You have achieved
a measure of peace. How do you prevent quarrels over money from
ever happening again?
Try gluing a sheet of rubber onto your back
and lying on the front step. If you are willing to become a doormat
(and a large, squishy one at that), you can banish all money fights
However, if you and your spouse each insist
on standing up for yourselves, the experts give some pointers for
increasing peace, love and understanding -- although you'll still
When you sit down to discuss financial
matters, set family goals -- and include the children in these discussions.