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A young couple's financial analysis
By Laura Shanahan • Bankrate.com
 "Money
squabbles -- and split-ups -- blindside a surprising number of couples,"
says Miriam Biddelman, a New York-based psychotherapist who specializes
in couples counseling. "That may be attributable to a prevailing
sense in our society of 'love conquers all.' If only that were true."
Here she offers insight into Claudia and Michael's
situation:
• Claudia and Michael make having a home
and family a top priority -- something not everyone does in this
day of careerists. Claudia seems to long for a situation she never
had; Michael craves a re-creation of what he has indeed experienced
and enjoyed in his life. No matter, the goal is a common one, which
puts them in harmony.
• The couple's desire to find interim lodging
-- a "linking" experience from home to home -- is a good
one. They've gotten a much-needed financial boost from Michael's
parents; but now, a little independent living as a married couple
will serve them well.
• Both show willingness to compromise and
sacrifice for a larger goal. Clearly, living in one state and commuting
to another is not ideal, but worth it for them to save more and
save quicker. This trait will serve them well in their relationship
with each other -- and with others.
• Some might consider the amount they shouldered
for their wedding excessive for their circumstances, but it also
symbolizes the extent to which they were willing to invest in something
that represented such great importance to them.
• The couple's optimism in Michael's earning
capabilities seems to be well-founded, in light of his specialty
and his commitment. This is not a case of, "We'll be living
on Easy Street once I sell my script to Hollywood."
• Claudia shows insight as to what inspired
her early "problem" spending. She must remain vigilant,
however, that she doesn't backslide into old habits when she hits
rough patches. Whether one self-medicates with drinking, gambling
or spending, it's something that one must always be careful not
to revert to.
• Food is one of life's more benign indulgences
-- except for those, of course, who have weight or other health
issues. Still, spending up to $500 a month for a few meals is indulgent.
However, even if they hadn't downscaled, I'd be inclined to not
judge this too harshly: Having served others so royally, they understandably
feel it's their turn. Too, food is comfort and family, something
both long for. As they've no doubt discovered with their lunches
now, there are more economical ways to indulge.
• Claudia and Michael seem refreshingly
free of a need to "keep up with the Joneses." For men,
especially, cars are a status symbol and measure of success, but
Michael seems comfortable with their vehicles, for now. If anything,
in a healthy way, it probably inspires him to succeed, but by meeting
personal goals, not to engage in showmanship.
• While it's wonderful that Michael and
Claudia have shared goals and bank accounts, I'd caution them to
keep some money in individual accounts, as well. Everyone needs
a little "mad money," a little no-explanation-needed indulgence
-- there's no need to feel guilty about that.
-- Posted: Nov. 7, 2000
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