 Reality
and pet gators sink houseboat fantasies
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 Dear
Real Estate Adviser,
I must have watched too many "Miami
Vice" reruns where Don Johnson's living large on a houseboat, because I have
my eye on a houseboat in the Miami area. Before you ask, no -- no pet gator.
I like the romantic idea of a houseboat,
but my significant other has all these practical questions about
resale value and insurance.
Boring stuff like that. Steve!
Baby! Put her mind to rest for me, will you?
-- P. Culiar
 Dear
P. Culiar,
Here you are thinking "romance,"
and all your significant other can do is coolly crunch the numbers.
But I bet she'd come around if
you decided to "Don" a pastel T-shirt, some wrinkly peach
slacks and a pair of loafers, minus socks, to complement a fashionable
one-day-old stubble.
Kidding aside, P., you might want to listen to your
fiscal-minded confidante. I hate to spoil your fantasy, but owning
and maintaining a houseboat these days can cost some serious coinage.
Unless you are willing to forsake your land-based home to actually
live full-time on the houseboat a la D.J., you might find houseboating
to be an onerously expensive hobby.
To begin with, there are a lot of costs -- or floating
expenses, if you will -- that may not meet the eye in the world
of houseboat ownership. There's dock-space, or slip, rental, which
can easily run $5,000 or more a year (or several times that in Miami),
plus water, sewage and electric hookups in many cases. More expensive
boats may have their own generators, water tanks and waste-containment
systems, which require regular maintenance. You'll also need your
boat's hull serviced and repainted once every two years. Realize,
too, that some marinas won't let houseboats dock at all.
Then there's that "boring" issue of insurance.
Most mainstream insurers don't cover houseboats, so you'll probably
have to pay a premium through a specialty insurance company. Expect
this to be significantly higher per square foot than your homeowners
insurance; particularly if you're docking in a historically risky-weather
area such as hurricane-prone South Florida.
In case you want to motor around the coast, don't
forget fuel expenses and engine maintenance. Hint: Diesel engines
are more expensive but consume less fuel and last longer, although
you may not run the boat enough to make up the price difference.
Of course, if you just want to live dockside, you can skate by with
a motorless houseboat or one with a small engine. But make sure
the engine is equipped to handle the offshore uses you have in mind.
As you've probably discovered, pre-owned
houseboats can run anywhere from $20,000 to $200,000. As for resale prices, most
well-maintained houseboats actually seem to retain their value pretty well.
Before you buy -- if you're still planning to after
reading this far, I suggest you chat up some current houseboat residents.
Slip on those deck shoes and walk the docks of one
or two current houseboat "neighborhoods" on a nice day
when other owners are out, wish them a hearty "ahoy" and
ask questions about houseboat life and expenses. Visit Houseboat
Magazine online for added perspective. You also might want to
rent a houseboat for a week, or a weekend, and see if it really
suits your fancy before you take the plunge.
Good call on the gator, though. As you know,
Johnson's "Miami Vice" houseboat, St. Vitus Dance, came
equipped with a not-always-friendly alligator named Elvis, and that's
the kind of thing that could really be a deal-breaker for your companion,
if the fiscal realities of it aren't already.
Sorry I couldn't put your significant other's
mind to rest. In fact, it may be "Vice"-versa in this
case. But good luck on your decision!
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