Buying a house with a friend or sibling
By Diana McLaren • Bankrate.com

Financial and legal arrangements are important, but they aren't the whole picture when it comes to making co-ownership work. As well as a legal arrangement, co-ownership is a relationship between people.

That's where a relationship counsellor can be helpful. Toronto psychotherapist Laura Dent says that as in any relationship, there are two crucial elements to success: managing expectations and resolving differences.

"It's always best to think through as much as possible beforehand," Dent says. "Think about what problems might arise and how they might be resolved. Write things out. People might think sharing a house purchase is a way to get into the housing market, but if they don't think beyond that, there can be problems."

Know your partner
You need to really think about who the other person is, says Dent. What type of personality is she? Does she engage in direct confrontation or bottle things up? Is she messy and unreliable or tidy and responsible?

"People don't change who they are," says Dent. "It's not that different from couples. Ask yourself: What are you completely happy with about the other person? What would need to change for you to be happy with that person? What would you be able to just accept as things are?"

While it's wise to plan well before entering into a co-ownership arrangement, sometimes it's a natural evolution of a temporary situation.

That's what's happened for two Toronto sisters who started sharing the older sister's small bungalow when the younger sibling left a relationship and needed a place to stay for a few months while saving money to start out on her own.

It's worked out so well that now, more than two years later, Kim and Tina Pittaway are planning a co-purchase.

Sisterly act
Under their current arrangement, Kim is sole owner and Tina pays rent. They split utility costs and groceries, sharing cooking and meals together. They even share the small home's one office space at times since they are both freelance journalists.

"We literally work back-to-back," says Kim. "The whole arrangement has worked out very well." This has given them confidence in their plans to co-purchase and in their ability to make it work.

As the home's owner for eight years, Kim could have felt she had the upper hand when it came to house issues. While that isn't the case, both say that in the early days there was some tension. "At first, we had a couple of flare-ups," says Kim. "When we talked it out, Tina said she didn't feel like she could have an option about things related to the house." Once Kim reassured her sibling that she wanted her to feel equal in household matters, things fell comfortably into place.

Tina says that when tensions do arise, "it's important to keep the lines of communication open." That, and have a private space where you can retreat to for a while. She says that while the house they co-purchase will be larger and may well have separate quarters, "we'll still likely want to have lunch and watch Oprah together."

Diana McLaren is a writer in Toronto.