Fame & Fortune: Dave Barry
Teaches his kids value of $1 -- a few ounces of gasoline
the worst thing you ever did for money?
I had sex with Paris Hilton.
You chose the incredibly lucrative career of journalism, so I'm assuming
you had some "salad years." Did you live in glorious bachelor squalor,
humble frugality or wild excess?
Dave Barry: Oh, it was pretty humble. I lived for a while with a fellow journalist
named Randall Shantz in an apartment furnished almost entirely with rabbit turds.
Which of your personal money behaviors is most likely to bring the dreaded raised
eyebrow from your wife, Michelle?
Dave Barry: I am always discovering that I need a new laptop computer. Michelle does
NOT understand this. She'll say, "But you just BOUGHT one!" And I'll
say, "Yes, but this one has more megahertz." And she'll just roll her
eyes. She doesn't grasp the importance of having a lot of megahertz.
Presuming you have crossed this threshold, when did you decide to "get serious"
about your money? Do you handle things like investments yourself or does someone
do it for you?
Dave Barry: I have a guy,
named Neil. Neil does something with my money, and periodically he tries to explain
it to me, and I nod politely, but I am not really listening, and we both know
it. But I totally trust Neil, because he is a professional, and I have pictures
of him naked with a sheep.
Bill Gates, Donald Trump, Paris Hilton. With which wealthy person would you most
like to be locked in the trunk of a Lincoln Continental? What would you talk about?
Dave Barry: Wait -- am I in the trunk, too? Because if so, I think I'd mainly be talking
to them about whether they had a cell phone.
What's the most important money lesson you hope you taught your kids?
Dave Barry: I hope that,
if I have taught them nothing else, I have taught the value of a
dollar -- which is currently about 1.5 ounces of gasoline.