Marginal motoring: cheap tricks and quick fixes

At one time or another, we've all been forced to improvise solutions to common car problems just to keep our bucket of bolts running long enough to make it to payday or the outskirts of Winnemucca.

We've uttered every oath and busted every knuckle on a junker that would neither drive consistently nor die. Instead, it lingered in a nerve-fraying state of narcolepsy for the amusement of some demented Detroit deity.

Such infuriating vehicles demand that their drivers become well-acquainted with marginal motoring techniques: quick fixes and cheap tricks that have been known to involve a steep hill, a bar of soap and creative use of electrical tape. And while these makeshift repairs may sound far-fetched, they in fact employ perfectly logical, outlandishly inexpensive patches that work in a pinch.

I learned some of these tricks as the owner of three particularly challenging cars: the Rambler American, AMC Gremlin and Ford Pinto ("the exploding one," my friends would always add). All the autos were used, and horribly so, by the time I took the wheel. I'm currently studying for my master's in marginal motoring on a 1991 Mazda Miata.

Kyle Busch, author of "Drive the Best for the Price," earned his graduate degree in marginal motoring in a 1986 Volkswagen Jetta that he bought used in 1991 for $2,600. It now has 378,652 miles and a lot of Busch's sweat on it. Busch and his science experiment are pictured on his Web site www.drivethebestbook.com, where he fields questions from budding automotive masochists.

Paul Duchene, a national car writer whose work frequently appears in the New York Times and Chicago Tribune, has owned and restored everything from a fuel dragster to his current ride, a Citroen DS19 ("the Martian vacuum cleaner," he calls it). If it rolls, chances are Duchene has ridden in and written about it.

Here are a dozen of our cheap tricks and quick fixes. All price quotes are based on a 2000 Ford Escort (you were expecting a Lexus?), courtesy of Auto Zone.

1. Fixing a flat tire
2. Problems getting started
3. Bad wiper blade
4. Squeaky belt
5. Smoke under the hood
6. Fuel problems
7. Radiator leak
8. Air conditioner leak
9. Headlight problems
10. Windshield ding
11. Leaky heater
12. Nagging dashboard lights

There's "the dink," of course, that undersized donut of a spare in your trunk. Upside: No cost if you have one and it's inflated. Downside: "You can't drive over 50 on them and they won't last long," says Duchene. "They're meant to get you home."

As for full-sized replacements, used tires have taken the place of the old retreads, and they're a good bargain. "People do so much take-off stuff these days because it's not cool enough, so there are a lot of tires that come out of dealers because they're just not the flavor of the month," Duchene says. They start at around $15, a third of the cost of a new tire.

If that flat has tread left, you can repair a small puncture with any brand of fix-a-tire spray-in goo for $3.99. Downside: "Your tire guy will hate you because when he does get to it, all that slime is in there," says Duchene.

For a few bucks more ($8 to $10), you can have a tire shop shove a rubber plug into the hole. Do plugs hold? "Yes," says Duchene. "They'll wear right down with the tire. I've seen bald tires with plugs in them."

A dead battery, however, does not deter true marginal motorists. If you have a standard transmission and a hill handy (or beefy roommates to provide a push), you can compression start your car for days. Push in clutch, shift to first gear, get rolling forward, let out clutch and you're on your way. But there are serious downsides, such as stalling in traffic or on an uphill lie.

If your starter isn't cranking, it may have developed a flat spot. Busch suggests a time-tested marginal motoring tool for this job: "A lot of times, if you tap the starter lightly with a hammer, it will free up the brushes inside. You can also rock the vehicle and it will jiggle those brushes just enough to get it started."