Stress and your money -- Page 2

Instead of trying to understand what makes you sad or anxious or doing things to help you understand why you feel a particular way, you tend to deny the symptoms by shopping or eating or other things, says Dr. Saltz. It's important to look at what's bothering you and try to evaluate it.

Dr. Saltz gave this example: You think you're not going to get that promotion you hoped for, so you go out a buy yourself that new expensive suit to cheer yourself up.

The danger is that it distracts you from thinking about why you didn't get that promotion or what you could about changing your behavior in some way so that you don't miss the next promotion.

"It's not that buying yourself a new suit or new makeup to cheer yourself up is bad. But, if it's one instead of the other -- that's not good," she says.

Is your shopping a problem?

If you're concerned that perhaps your spending habits have reached the problem level, ask yourself these questions.

• Do you use shopping as a quick fix for the blues?

• Do you often spend more than you can afford?

• Are some of your purchases unused, forgotten or hidden away?

• Do you feel guilty or ashamed about this behavior?

• Have your attempts to change been fruitless?

• Would your life be richer if you weren't shopping so much?

Getting help

If you could answer yes to any of the questions, you have a problem and need to become aware of your spending habits.

"You have to face the fact that this is serious and not just something you do once in a while. Be honest with yourself. Ask those around you to be honest as well. Ask the people who are close to you what they see. Take a good look at your credit card bills. You need to know what your behavior is costing you," says Benson, author of "I Shop, Therefore I Am: Compulsive Buying and the Search for Self."

"We can never get enough of what we don't need. It's like looking for love in all the wrong places. You think, 'If only I had this new leather jacket' and how having it is going to make you feel better about yourself. But it doesn't because it's not about something external."

Learn other ways to nurture yourself, recommends Olivia Mellan, coauthor of "Overcoming Overspending: A Winning Plan for Spenders and Their Partners."

Try activities such as mediation, taking a walk in nature or go on a date with your spouse. Find something that will be more fulfilling than a shopaholic binge. Reach out to family and friends for help.

Take a buddy to the mall who knows you and knows you overspend. Tell them your spending limits and make them hold you to it, suggests Mellan.

Get back in touch with a hobby you enjoyed in the past, recommends Washington, D.C., therapist Janis Evans. Meet for tea instead of going to the mall. Find new ways to relax.

Make a list before you go to the mall. Consider window shopping -- go to the mall but leave your credit cards at home, suggests Evans.

Consult a therapist. There's also help from organizations like Debtors Anonymous and 12 step programs for chronic over spenders. Check out stoppingoverspending.com, where Benson offers advice for over spenders.

"Money is a drug," says financial planner Wayne von Borstel. "It's the No. 1 drug in America. It gives you a quick high every time you spend it. If you have a good day, you go out and spend money. If you have a bad day, you go out and spend money. It makes us feel good. But no matter how much money you make -- financial success is related to whether you save or spend.

"Squirrels end up with millions because they put the nuts away, not because they make lots of nuts."