Stress and your money

You just found out you're getting a new boss and to make matters worse, you and your spouse had a big blow up. You are stressed to the max. What are you going to do? If you are like millions of Americans, you'll grab your plastic and head to the malls.

"People under stress revert to their oldest, most primitive survival mode and it is always dysfunctional," says psychotherapist Olivia Mellan. "If overspending is already a part of your personality then your response to the stress will be to spend money."

Sure, spending can cheer you up -- but only temporarily, say the experts.

It's one of those activities that help to blot out whatever else is on your mind. When you're thinking about what you're going to buy, you're not thinking about what's stressing you.

"There's nothing wrong with buying something to cheer yourself up as long as you can afford it -- financially, emotionally and spiritually," says psychologist April Lane Benson, "But if your purchase leads to trouble, then it's a problem."

Sometimes spending is a response to a single traumatic event like the threat of a natural disaster. In Florida, after hurricane Frances passed over Palm Beach County, the malls were jammed the day the stores re-opened.

"After any kind of trauma you want to do something to make yourself feel better," says Robert Butterworth, a noted psychologist and media commentator.

"You see people buying things and they look happy. Spending is a primitive way to make you feel better."

We are a nation of overspenders, says Benson, who says it's a national epidemic and it starts at the top. "Look at the national deficit. After Sept. 11 President Bush told Americans not to let the terrorists interfere with our everyday life and to go shopping!"

According to Benson, as many as 15 million American men and women suffer from compulsive shopping. Feelings of loneliness, emptiness, low self-esteem, insecurity and boredom can cause people to buy compulsively.

Sometimes people turn to spending money to take their minds off what is bothering them or to cheer themselves up, says psychiatrist Dr. Gail Saltz, an associate professor of psychiatry at New York Presbyterian Hospital and an NBC-TV "Today" show contributor.

They get hooked on the high from buying that extra something. They get into difficulty if it becomes the main method for de-stressing themselves, says Dr. Saltz.

"Some people might eat because the food makes them feel good but they might not like it later when they've put on a few more pounds."

The spender doesn't like it later when the bill comes either.