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Women in the workplace

By Julie Sturgeon • Bankrate.com

By 2008, the number of America's workers who are women, will have risen to 48 percent, according to the U.S. Department of Labor. In 2004, 46 percent of all workers were women. Despite the progress that has been achieved over the past several decades, women are still meeting obstacles when they punch that timecard. Besides the old familiar glass ceiling, experts note that women are having trouble getting their opinions heard in the workplace.

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Though women aren't necessarily from Venus, there is a difference in the way that women communicate in the workplace as opposed to their male counterparts. While women are sometimes talked over in meetings and their ideas aren't given the same attention as a man's, some experts say that women are poised to jump into the business communication game -- and master it.

Left-brained, right-brained, scatterbrained
We have an advantage at this game, according to Diane DiResta, author of "Knockout Presentations". She says that a woman's brain actually works differently than a man's. Men's language and thinking is focused in one part of the brain, while women are actually more scatterbrained ... but in a good way. By using language that pulls from more parts of the brain, women can listen and communicate more effectively.

DiResta says that rather than viewing their communication style as a weakness, women need to understand their feminine power and embrace it. She says that we can recognize feminine power by looking at leaders who've kept their feminine edge, like Elizabeth Dole and Madeleine Albright. She says that although Hillary Clinton has a "hard, male edge," Clinton is starting to gain that feminine power.

But isn't that "hard, male edge" what moves you up the corporate ladder? Well, don't join the boys club so fast, "You don't have to turn into [a] man to be successful," says Deborah Swiss, author of "Women Breaking Through: Overcoming the Final 10 Obstacles at Work." "Gender can be a barrier," she says, "but the many strengths of women are being recognized."

These strengths are a woman's ability and readiness to be great team player. Also, count on a woman to accept blame when a mistake has been made --and then move on. Women can also connect with other employees on a personal level.

Knowing how to package these strengths is an important part of getting ahead, according to Swiss. "Presentation is a big part of reality," she says. "Women need to learn how to toot their own horns."

This role-playing doesn't make dumb
Want to surround yourself with feminine power? Join a professional women's group. It may not be the 1950s, but "we're still pioneers in a way," says Swiss. These groups provide support through peers and mentors and they give women access to great contacts.

They can also provide feedback to women who are new to the business communication game. Within these groups, members can role-play difficult presentations or confrontations. According to Swiss, drawing from other women's experiences can help you keep your cool when you are actually stuck at the head of the conference room or ensure that you are approaching a difficult subject in the most favorable way.

Carolyn Elman, executive director of the American Business Women's Association, in Kansas City, Mo., says, "there is real value in women's organizations." Members look at these organizations as a safe haven where women can share their experiences with other women.

Professional women's organizations can be especially helpful for younger women, according to Elman. Young women can learn more about the unwritten rules of business that they don't teach in school. And, because being young means "two years in one place, and two years onto the next," she says that finding a group of career women can help you keep your career plans on track. A young woman "can form contacts to help them get recommendations," says Elman.

When it comes to advice, who can you trust? "There will be a lot of people offering advice, you need to weigh whose advice is better. Your gut will tell you who you can trust," says Ronna Lichtenberg, author of "Work Would Be Great if It Weren't for the People."

She suggests that as a new employee, a young woman should use her first six months to focus on listening -- a woman's known strength. When you see something you want to change at the office, keep your feminine power in check. Lichtenberg warns, "don't make a move right away and don't take an uninformed risk too soon."

"Sometimes being a bitch is all a girl's got"
Once you're ready to unleash this feminine power, Lichtenberg says you can avoid being called a "bitch" by focusing on others' needs. "Bitchiness is when it's all about you," she says.

Still, when you make waves at the office there will be fallout. "Someone will always call you a bitch. Don't let them get you down," Lichtenberg advises. "It's a graduation ceremony -- the price of admission. It means you are pushing."

But while you're pushing, you need to keep your emotions in check. When women feel that they are not being understood or respected, they may express their frustration by losing their cool or even crying. Instead of crying -- and putting yourself in the position of being perceived as less credible -- DiResta suggests that you make a list of the points you want to cover in your argument to make sure you don't lose sight of your goal.

Concentrating on your breathing and staying focused are other ways to control an emotional reaction, according to DiResta. Rather than taking a negative or defensive position, you should ask questions and ask for specific answers. DiResta suggests that you can combat such emotional situations by requesting ongoing feedback, mentally rehearsing your confrontation and role-playing the scenario with a trusted friend. With this preparation your emotional response won't be so intense.

Finally, if you find yourself getting too upset during a discussion, you should excuse yourself, take a quick break to get it all out, pull yourself together and come back to the matter-at-hand.

The mom solution
The most emotional decision a woman has to make involving work, may take place outside of the office. Although experts say that we have come a long way from the days when your personal life was left outside the office door, it can still be a struggle for women to balance their family and business lives.

If you intend to have a family, family-friendly policies should be important in your quest for the perfect job. Swiss says that many companies have great family policies on paper, but you should look into how well they are incorporated in the office. Once you have the job offer, ask to talk to other employees in your department and weigh their answers to your concerns.

Swiss says that you shouldn't be afraid to be a trailblazer in your company. "If we don't do it, who else will?" she says. Approach your boss with real solutions to your baby-bearing dilemma. Job-sharing, flex-scheduling and telecommuting are some ideas that may work for you and your company. Swiss suggests that you tell your boss that if your plan doesn't work, you are willing to go back to the old way of working.

"Your brain didn't stop working because you have a child: Don't apologize for it," says Swiss. She says a woman can actually offer more to a company as a mother because she has life experience, judgment and wisdom. And Lichtenberg adds that young mothers will be able to handle working motherhood much better than older employees, because many of today's young women were brought up as latchkey kids and can relate to this schedule-juggling. Just be aware that you probably will have to go beyond the call of duty to make your work and home lives as happy as possible.

Women have to really put their best pump forward to rewrite the unwritten rules of the business world. If you are feeling totally discouraged and need more enticing to stretch your feminine wings, know that it will get easier. As Carolyn Elman says, "It takes practice. I think we are getting better at it."

Tips to being a super woman at work: