Ask Dr. Don By Don Taylor, Ph.D., CFA • Bankrate.com

He's so irresponsible!

Dear Dr. Don,
I make $12,000 a year more than my husband. He is responsible for the house payment ($534) and his credit card. I paid off a credit card two years ago and I pay all the other bills.

He is still trying to get his credit card paid off. He is always late on payments and doesn't consider it a big deal. (He's added another $1,000 on the credit card in late payments) We have received numerous letters about repossessing the house and then he shells out the money. A few years ago we couldn't get a car because of our credit score. I'm afraid to look at our credit record.

It disgusts me to think that our friends make less money than we do and they have so much more. I feel that I'd be better off by myself taking care of our 15-year-old daughter. We have been married 17 years and it has always been this way. This marriage is depressing. No one calls us except creditors.

It pisses me off that he only has two things to be responsible for financially and he can't even do that! Would I be better off just to call it quits? The whole situation makes me feel used and my feelings toward my partner have diminished.
Bonnie Bonhomie

Dear Bonnie,
There are lots of reasons to leave a bad marriage, but walking out because he can't pay these two bills on time seems pretty weak. There are several solutions to this problem, but you'll both have to be willing to give and take a little.

It's time your husband learned how to schedule an automatic debit to make the mortgage payment and to back that up with some form of overdraft protection, just in case the money's not there when the payment hits the account. That would take care of the mortgage problem.

Alternately, an online bill-paying service would allow him to schedule both the credit card payment and the mortgage payment. If he's got the money in his account to make these payments, then not making the payment on time makes no sense.

That brings up another key point. If he's late on these bills because he's got other spending priorities then you have to get him to put these bills first. One way to do that is to have his paycheck deposited to an account used for bill paying and the balance transferred to his spending account. It's not an allowance; it's a prioritization of spending. Fewer late payments frees up cash for the things he wants to buy.