Ask Dr. Don
By Don Taylor, Ph.D., CFA • Bankrate.com

Remarriage and your estate

Dear Dr. Don,
My fiancé and I are both in our 40s, and this will be the second marriage for both of us. I have three children from my first marriage; my fiancé has no children.

I would like to leave some of my assets to my children when I die. My fiancé is concerned that he is planning on leaving all his assets to me, yet I am not planning to do the same with him.

We would both like to talk to someone who knows the tax laws and can give expert financial advice to both of us. Any suggestions?
Cindy Coupling

Dear Cindy,
You don't need expert financial or legal advice as much as you both need to work through these feelings with a counselor.

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Leaving your children an inheritance is fairly simple. The complexity is in getting your fiancé to see why this is important to you and to support your wishes. The Stepfamily Association of America maintains a directory of professional affiliates and can help you find counselors in your area.

Financial planning and legal advice will help you realize your goals for your estate, but you have to identify and agree on the goals first.

The goals aren't to avoid probate and estate taxes, but to have your children inherit part of your wealth or assets. Avoiding estate taxes and shielding assets from probate can make it easier to accomplish your financial goals for your estate, but that's the means to achieve them, not the end.

Start the financial planning part of the equation by finding a fee-based financial planner in your area. A certified financial planner isn't the only source for sound financial planning, but their Web site can help you with questions to ask when you interview planners.

-- Posted: Oct. 24, 2001