Talking money to your mate Boomer Bucks by Barbara Mlotek Whelehan • Bankrate.com

What's more fun -- romance or finance? If you answered finance, then you are a rare soul, probably one who enjoys spending evenings doing calculus equations or figuring statistics probabilities or something related to numbers.

For those of us who rank romance as more fun, what happens when we combine the two seemingly incompatible concepts of romance and finance? Do sparks fly? And do they ignite strongly positive passions or negative ones?

Sparks fly, all right. According to an unscientific "Can't Buy Me Love" online survey sponsored by PayPal, money is the No. 1 issue that couples fight about. Some 37 percent of couples say they spar more about money than house-cleaning chores (34 percent) or frequency of romantic interludes (28 percent). The survey drew 3,044 respondents, 60 percent of whom were women.

Interestingly though, 56 percent of the individuals surveyed say they never fight over finances. That's huge, and I can't help but wonder how truthfully they responded, because if ever there were a topic charged with deep-seated emotions, it would have to be money.

Money is the manifestation of the energy expended to earn it. It's much easier to burn than to earn it.

Money fears and dreams
My husband says he worries about money all the time. He doesn't appear to worry. I see him going to work, coming home and relaxing in front of the TV, surfing on weekends whenever waves permit and basically enjoying life. If he didn't tell me that he worries, I'd never know the difference.

On the other hand, I don't worry about money. If a major disruption occurs, I have faith that we can draw on our resources and overcome the obstacle, whatever it is. Soon everything will be resolved and all will be well.

However, despite these different dispositions, we reverse roles on occasion. For instance, from time to time my husband announces his plans to retire at 55. It sets off alarms within me. I tell him that's plain nonsense. There's no way he can retire that early. "What about health insurance between 55 and 65? What if we live to 85 or 90? We won't have the money to carry us through to old age!" I exclaim.

He responds that he probably won't live to age 65, and that he won't work himself to the grave. Then I remind him that his mom, whom he strongly resembles, just celebrated her 80th birthday, and that she's in excellent health. This bodes well for him, and certainly his chances of living beyond age 65 are quite good. And then he says that I can always work until age 70 and support him. Then I start to count to 10.

This is a conversation we have now and then, like the recurring nightmare in which I must climb a precipitous, rickety staircase. But before I get vertigo, I remember that we still have a few years before he turns 55. So we can table the discussion for a while.